My Authentic Self

Deep down I am an artist. I always have been. It's what I thought I would be when I grew up when asked at age 5. I. am. an artist.

Over time, being an "artist" morphed into more specifics, such as "being an actress," or "being a ballerina." Later my thoughts on what I wanted to be when I grew up changed to more of what I should be. Because, let's face it, I didn't want to be a "starving artist" and neither did my parents (although they are two of the most supportive people in the world of my whims).

Around age 11 I decided I would be a marine biologist. I fell in love with sea otters and thought I could probably spend the rest of my life trying to save the mere thousands of sea otters that remained. I was 11 and in love with peace signs and a member of the World Wild Life Federation. I felt empowered to make a difference.

 I later changed my mind and thought that being a 4th grade teacher would be the best option. I could empower young minds instead of fight the bureaucracy. The teaching life seemed more practical. Less deep water (I am afraid of deep water), and I could still have summers off to save those sea otters I so loved.

Years later I am none of these things I have listed above. The one element that comes close is I am still an artist. I still create on a daily basis. My creativity is part of the core of who I am. When there is time to do something for myself I am often found chest deep with my hands immersed in art supplies.

Lately I find that I am feeling more drawn to honoring my more authentic self. Even acknowledging that it exists, like here on this blog. So many times I have brushed off the comments I have received about my art, about what people like about it, how it has affected them. I ignore it or belittle it because I am too scared to acknowledge that it exists. Perhaps fearing, that through acknowledgment, this aspect of myself that I deeply adore will disappear.Or fearing that I don't posses the right qualities or accolades to be a true artist. Artists make BIG things with BIG impacts- right?

So I have taken on the challenge that Elanor Roosevelt presented a long time ago,

"You must do the things you think you cannot do."

And that is what I am doing. I am facing the life of uncertanty of being an artist and jumping head first into the world of creativity. I have reopend my Etsy shop with my real- true art- to share with the world. I plan to share more about my art and the journey I have been on these last few years rediscovering who I am. Expect more about my art and my process and where I go for inspiration to be gracing this blog space.

I hope you will share some of your thoughts on the things you think you cannot do in the comments. Together we can support each other in being our authentic and true selves.